There is a tree outside my apartment. I walk past it everyday as I leave home in the morning. The point to be noted is 'I walk past it everyday'. I "saw" it only today. Just a couple of minutes back to be precise.
It's 6 in the evening and I venture out to get something from my car. It's that time of day when the sun has just set but it still isn't dark. It seems to be getting darker by the minute but every minute seems just perfect. Twilight they call it. I remember first coming across the word in an English lesson. The teacher explained what it meant. It made so much sense that there was a word to describe that time of day. It deserves a word set aside for it. And the word twilight has this far away, mysterious feel to it. Just like the hours it describes.
Coming back to the moment. I walk out the door. It's slightly chilly but not cold. They've turned on those round white lights that light up our apparently complex. Something about the moment holds me. I walk towards the railing. I don't see a soul around. Everything around is really quite. Really peaceful. And really pretty. I hear the birds chirp now and then. There's a distant low rumbling. Feels like I'm back in India. That's when I notice it. A young tree staring right back at me. I'd never noticed it before. Never paused and looked. These lines come to mind..
"WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—"
-W. H. Davies
And in that moment all questions about life, all rigorous planning of things to be done melt away. And everything begins to make sense.
Currently reading P.G Wodehouse. In an English state of mind you might say. Watching English comedy(Coupling), English movies(In Bruges) and reading English novels(Right Ho, Jeeves). Delightful people, these English.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Sharing. How much is too much..
When I was in school, I had a chapter in English about a letter Jawaharlal Nehru wrote to his daughter Indira from prison (I tried to search for references to this on the net but couldn't find any). Nehru in his letter tells Indira that she should refrain from doing anything she would want to keep secret from others. The fact that she wouldn't want people knowing about it was a clear indication that she was doing something wrong. He did go on to say that there was a difference between secrecy and privacy and that there was nothing wrong with privacy. The chapter and the message it conveyed somehow stayed with me.
This seems like the kind of advice an Indian dad would want to give his teenage daughter. I apply the test sometimes. You should try it. It does make sense. This being said, there are certain other crucial facts we need to consider. Like,
1. Most people are dumb.
2. Most people are judgmental.
3. Most people won't put themselves in your shoes. :)
Leaving aside the general public, there is the question of how much you should/could share with friends (for that matter, there is also the question of which of your acquaintances you could call friends). Since I'm not exactly great with paras ("what do you have against paras", were the exact words of my English teacher) let's go through the various facts in points.
1. This, my dad once said. Never share your problems with others unless you think they might have a solution for it.
2. He also said, 'there should at least be one person in your life you share everything with. It helps you remain sane.'
3. Every time you share something close and personal with someone you let the person a little closer to you. You make yourself a little more vulnerable.
4. When you share something with a person, will he/she listen just because he/she is curious. Like a person hoping to catch a glimpse of a gory road accident. Or will he/she really care?
5. As a rule of thumb, I try and not discuss people. Especially if the person you are talking to knows the person you are talking about. That is always a bad idea. Call up someone who has no idea who you are talking about, and pour your heart out.
6. Some things are just too personal. Everyone has those things just one or two people in our lives know about. I believe it should stay that way. It gives value. To the things close and personal to you and to those two people in your life.
7. Almost everyone has his/her set of really close friends. Why not just talk to them when you feel like it. Why let someone new in.. And most importantly, if you do share with someone new without sharing with your old friends.. Would that be unfair to your old friends.
8. I have also noticed how we are so much more comfortable discussing emotions, issues and mawkish sentiments over chats, emails and SMSes but when in comes to talking about them in person we get uncomfortable, conscious, lost for words and sometimes even giggly. Somehow the reality of how ridiculous everything sounds hits you when you can hear yourself talking.
9. I believe you really bare yourself to a person not when you discuss your problems with them but when you discuss your aspirations.
So much for all the gyan, philosophy and contemplation. I haven't been able to reach a conclusion. I usually take the safe path and not share when in doubt. Better safe than sorry they say. And the lesser that people know about you the more interesting you seem.. ;)
Reading Cat's Cradle. I like the way Kurt Vonnegut writes. The movie Untraceable reminded me of something my English teacher once said. 'We all have a barbaric side. Wouldn't you rush to see someone hurt and bloody.' I think we are just curious. I would also rush to see if the stairs got painted pink by someone..
This seems like the kind of advice an Indian dad would want to give his teenage daughter. I apply the test sometimes. You should try it. It does make sense. This being said, there are certain other crucial facts we need to consider. Like,
1. Most people are dumb.
2. Most people are judgmental.
3. Most people won't put themselves in your shoes. :)
Leaving aside the general public, there is the question of how much you should/could share with friends (for that matter, there is also the question of which of your acquaintances you could call friends). Since I'm not exactly great with paras ("what do you have against paras", were the exact words of my English teacher) let's go through the various facts in points.
1. This, my dad once said. Never share your problems with others unless you think they might have a solution for it.
2. He also said, 'there should at least be one person in your life you share everything with. It helps you remain sane.'
3. Every time you share something close and personal with someone you let the person a little closer to you. You make yourself a little more vulnerable.
4. When you share something with a person, will he/she listen just because he/she is curious. Like a person hoping to catch a glimpse of a gory road accident. Or will he/she really care?
5. As a rule of thumb, I try and not discuss people. Especially if the person you are talking to knows the person you are talking about. That is always a bad idea. Call up someone who has no idea who you are talking about, and pour your heart out.
6. Some things are just too personal. Everyone has those things just one or two people in our lives know about. I believe it should stay that way. It gives value. To the things close and personal to you and to those two people in your life.
7. Almost everyone has his/her set of really close friends. Why not just talk to them when you feel like it. Why let someone new in.. And most importantly, if you do share with someone new without sharing with your old friends.. Would that be unfair to your old friends.
8. I have also noticed how we are so much more comfortable discussing emotions, issues and mawkish sentiments over chats, emails and SMSes but when in comes to talking about them in person we get uncomfortable, conscious, lost for words and sometimes even giggly. Somehow the reality of how ridiculous everything sounds hits you when you can hear yourself talking.
9. I believe you really bare yourself to a person not when you discuss your problems with them but when you discuss your aspirations.
So much for all the gyan, philosophy and contemplation. I haven't been able to reach a conclusion. I usually take the safe path and not share when in doubt. Better safe than sorry they say. And the lesser that people know about you the more interesting you seem.. ;)
Reading Cat's Cradle. I like the way Kurt Vonnegut writes. The movie Untraceable reminded me of something my English teacher once said. 'We all have a barbaric side. Wouldn't you rush to see someone hurt and bloody.' I think we are just curious. I would also rush to see if the stairs got painted pink by someone..
Friday, January 4, 2008
And I flew to New York and back... Part 1.
Departure: 9:20.
8:20 : Brother and friend have dropped me off at Terminal C of San Jose Airport.
Me: Do I check in here for American Airways flights?
Officer: No. That's in Terminal A. You can take the inter-terminal bus from there [pointing in some direction].
Me: Oh. Can I walk there?
Officer: Yea, but it'll take you about 15mins. You'd better take the inter-terminal bus.
Me: Oh. Ok. [Note to self: Strangle brother and friend on getting back]
9:30 : In inter-terminal bus
The only other passengers are an Indian family. They are having a conversation about earthquakes and California. Mother talks of how buildings in California are capable of withstanding earthquakes of up to magnitude 7 on the Richter Scale. Father seems to be in a world of his own. Son asks random questions. Spaces off when mother talks. Then asks another random question.
Terminal A Bus Stop
Both me and the Indian family get off. Both me and the Indian family begin to walk in the same general direction. I'm rushing of course and leave the Indian family behind. Then I get lost and can't decide where to go. Then I stop and wait for the Indian family to pass by and begin to follow them. It's just that they seem to know where they are going and well.. I don't. I'm reminded of Dirk Gently's theory:
"When trying to get somewhere, follow a random car.
You may not end up where you were going.
But you'll certainly find yourself somewhere you needed to be."
I reach a point where road crossing is involved. I decide that this probably isn't the best time to put Dirk's theory to test.
Me: Excuse me. Are you are traveling by American Airways?
Lady/Mother: Uuh.. No. [Weirdo]
Me: Oh..
Check-in counter
I finally find the place. The check-in counter says I can carry one carry-on bag plus one personal item with me.
Me: [Hmm.. Why was I planning on checking-in this bag again.. I could just carry them both with me and save on all the baggage-claim time. :) I'm so smart]
Security Check
Remove shoes, remove jacket, remove laptop. Put them and the 2 bags through screening.
Officer: Ma'am. Could you remove all liquid items from that bag.
Me: [Oh. That is why.] Hmm.. I'm sorry officer. Could I go check it in now?
Officer: Sure. [Weirdo]
Me: [Sigh]
Flight
The plane takes off. A window seat and the view outside is... captivating. The city, with all its lights, looks like a huge PCB. Shiny yellow lights look like pins of ICs and the roads look like interconnects. Hmh. I think of all the other things the view makes me think of. Once the plane gains some more altitude it looks like an open jewelry box or like elaborate work on a sari.. Sigh
That is all I have energy for today. Maybe more about New York in a future post.
8:20 : Brother and friend have dropped me off at Terminal C of San Jose Airport.
Me: Do I check in here for American Airways flights?
Officer: No. That's in Terminal A. You can take the inter-terminal bus from there [pointing in some direction].
Me: Oh. Can I walk there?
Officer: Yea, but it'll take you about 15mins. You'd better take the inter-terminal bus.
Me: Oh. Ok. [Note to self: Strangle brother and friend on getting back]
9:30 : In inter-terminal bus
The only other passengers are an Indian family. They are having a conversation about earthquakes and California. Mother talks of how buildings in California are capable of withstanding earthquakes of up to magnitude 7 on the Richter Scale. Father seems to be in a world of his own. Son asks random questions. Spaces off when mother talks. Then asks another random question.
Terminal A Bus Stop
Both me and the Indian family get off. Both me and the Indian family begin to walk in the same general direction. I'm rushing of course and leave the Indian family behind. Then I get lost and can't decide where to go. Then I stop and wait for the Indian family to pass by and begin to follow them. It's just that they seem to know where they are going and well.. I don't. I'm reminded of Dirk Gently's theory:
"When trying to get somewhere, follow a random car.
You may not end up where you were going.
But you'll certainly find yourself somewhere you needed to be."
I reach a point where road crossing is involved. I decide that this probably isn't the best time to put Dirk's theory to test.
Me: Excuse me. Are you are traveling by American Airways?
Lady/Mother: Uuh.. No. [Weirdo]
Me: Oh..
Check-in counter
I finally find the place. The check-in counter says I can carry one carry-on bag plus one personal item with me.
Me: [Hmm.. Why was I planning on checking-in this bag again.. I could just carry them both with me and save on all the baggage-claim time. :) I'm so smart]
Security Check
Remove shoes, remove jacket, remove laptop. Put them and the 2 bags through screening.
Officer: Ma'am. Could you remove all liquid items from that bag.
Me: [Oh. That is why.] Hmm.. I'm sorry officer. Could I go check it in now?
Officer: Sure. [Weirdo]
Me: [Sigh]
Flight
The plane takes off. A window seat and the view outside is... captivating. The city, with all its lights, looks like a huge PCB. Shiny yellow lights look like pins of ICs and the roads look like interconnects. Hmh. I think of all the other things the view makes me think of. Once the plane gains some more altitude it looks like an open jewelry box or like elaborate work on a sari.. Sigh
That is all I have energy for today. Maybe more about New York in a future post.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Freedom of expression - a myth?
The number of unfinished posts mounting in my account is astounding. So there is no telling when and if this post will actually get published.(OK, calling the process of clicking the 'publish post' tab "publishing", might be pushing it).
I was spending a lazy Sunday morning doing all those things I plan on doing during the weekdays but never get to (gym, catching up on news, making progress on that novel that seems to be growing bigger the more I read it, updating this blog, etc etc) when I got to know of this and this that disturbed me somehow. Left me wondering and muttering, 'I don't understand'.
Here's how I look at it. She writes criticizing the believes of a section of people. The section of people get pissed off. The next thing you know, people are offering money to anyone who "blackened" Taslima's face and are accusing her of being a "Jewish spy". Hmm.. Something doesn't add up here. I try to draw an analogy. To see if that would bring more clarity. If someone was to criticize you, how would you react to it..
1. Their criticism is not misplaced. You either correct yourself or turn a deaf ear.
2. The criticism is biased, misplaced and inaccurate. But people are dumb. Most people who listen to dumb people are dumb. It's pointless explaining the correct version of things to dumb people.
3. Go out there and let people know your side of the story. The other side of the coin. You might not have as much success of course.
4. Announce a bounty for the head of the person? Hmm.. I don't think so.
My conclusion, fight a pen with a pen, not with a sword.
As for the song lyrics.. My first reaction was "huh" (followed by"whaa" I think). The song had lyrics which translate to, "even a cobbler wants to be a goldsmith". It was considered derogatory to the dalit community since all cobblers used to be dalits.. Hooww does one draw such conclusions. Hats off to Mayawati. It must take a genius to make the connection. I say vote for Mayawati in the next elections as well. If only the makers of the movie knew this was to happen they wouldn't have spent as much on it's publicity.
At this point I got really bored and stopped thinking. And writing. It's a good thing to stop writing when you stop thinking. I do good things. I feel like Mayawati. As you may see the date on this is ..., I don't know, very old. To prevent this from adding on to my list of unpublished posts I put this up now.
Trivia of the post:
Click fraud
I was spending a lazy Sunday morning doing all those things I plan on doing during the weekdays but never get to (gym, catching up on news, making progress on that novel that seems to be growing bigger the more I read it, updating this blog, etc etc) when I got to know of this and this that disturbed me somehow. Left me wondering and muttering, 'I don't understand'.
Here's how I look at it. She writes criticizing the believes of a section of people. The section of people get pissed off. The next thing you know, people are offering money to anyone who "blackened" Taslima's face and are accusing her of being a "Jewish spy". Hmm.. Something doesn't add up here. I try to draw an analogy. To see if that would bring more clarity. If someone was to criticize you, how would you react to it..
1. Their criticism is not misplaced. You either correct yourself or turn a deaf ear.
2. The criticism is biased, misplaced and inaccurate. But people are dumb. Most people who listen to dumb people are dumb. It's pointless explaining the correct version of things to dumb people.
3. Go out there and let people know your side of the story. The other side of the coin. You might not have as much success of course.
4. Announce a bounty for the head of the person? Hmm.. I don't think so.
My conclusion, fight a pen with a pen, not with a sword.
As for the song lyrics.. My first reaction was "huh" (followed by"whaa" I think). The song had lyrics which translate to, "even a cobbler wants to be a goldsmith". It was considered derogatory to the dalit community since all cobblers used to be dalits.. Hooww does one draw such conclusions. Hats off to Mayawati. It must take a genius to make the connection. I say vote for Mayawati in the next elections as well. If only the makers of the movie knew this was to happen they wouldn't have spent as much on it's publicity.
At this point I got really bored and stopped thinking. And writing. It's a good thing to stop writing when you stop thinking. I do good things. I feel like Mayawati. As you may see the date on this is ..., I don't know, very old. To prevent this from adding on to my list of unpublished posts I put this up now.
Trivia of the post:
Click fraud
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Double standards?
"Could you tell me the train I'll have to take to get there", she asked. I looked it up online and confirmed what I doubted. There were no direct trains going there. A while later she came down and asked me if I knew the number to a taxi service. I didn't. Told her who she could call to ask for it. Not once in all the while did the thought of driving her there cross my mind.
He said he walked down to work from his home everyday. Oh, do you want me to pick you up I asked. I drive down the same way.
Sigh. It's not just this. Maybe we(you are more than welcome to count yourself out of this generalization. I just feel better believing there are others with me on this) are also more tolerant to the quirks and qualms of the opposite sex. I'm not very proud of it. But guess that's just the way things are. Flirting someone called it. I'm not so sure about that. This is what I would call flirting..
[Girl bumps into guy]
Girl: Oh! I'm sorry.
Guy: [Smiles] I'm not.
Of course, if not said the right way and by the right person the guy would come out looking just plain creepy. But we're assuming the guy has the class and style to carry it off.
Not my original. Courtesy him.
He said he walked down to work from his home everyday. Oh, do you want me to pick you up I asked. I drive down the same way.
Sigh. It's not just this. Maybe we(you are more than welcome to count yourself out of this generalization. I just feel better believing there are others with me on this) are also more tolerant to the quirks and qualms of the opposite sex. I'm not very proud of it. But guess that's just the way things are. Flirting someone called it. I'm not so sure about that. This is what I would call flirting..
[Girl bumps into guy]
Girl: Oh! I'm sorry.
Guy: [Smiles] I'm not.
Of course, if not said the right way and by the right person the guy would come out looking just plain creepy. But we're assuming the guy has the class and style to carry it off.
Not my original. Courtesy him.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
This that and other.
Ever had this strong urge to write despite the fact that you have nothing to write about. It's similar to the urge to talk when you have nothing to say. This, would be a very good time to stay far away from any form of writable media, especially if there is a possibility of it being read by others. This being said, what's life if you don't do something stupid once in a while.
Since I don't have anything to say (which I'm guessing you've gathered by now. If you haven't I'm not particularly excited about you reading my blog), I'm going to take this opportunity to promote these posts by a friend who got into a blog updating drive recently. I also came across this and this (the first post - A quick tale 194 and the third one - Cult of Bad Mamas) that I rather liked.
I read 'One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest' recently. And I think, (yes, I tend to do that sometimes) to be able to see the funny side of life and the ability to be ourselves and not let others tell us who we ought to be are a mans greatest strengths. "You have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep yourself in balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy” says Chief Bromden in the book.
Moment of the month:
Phone conversation.
Him: A great man once said, "thanks to all the mediocre men in the world, if it weren't for them, how would we appreciate a genius".
Me: [distracted] Another great man once said... "Burp". Great men say a lot of things.
Moment in another guys month.
After rear-ending a car and a really short guy(avoiding the M word here) getting off of it.
Short guy: I'm not happy.
Him: So which one are you??
Me: [salutes]
A trip to Reno.
A bike ride with sweet guy through beautiful roads.
New people.
A new roomie.
Peace.
Since I don't have anything to say (which I'm guessing you've gathered by now. If you haven't I'm not particularly excited about you reading my blog), I'm going to take this opportunity to promote these posts by a friend who got into a blog updating drive recently. I also came across this and this (the first post - A quick tale 194 and the third one - Cult of Bad Mamas) that I rather liked.
I read 'One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest' recently. And I think, (yes, I tend to do that sometimes) to be able to see the funny side of life and the ability to be ourselves and not let others tell us who we ought to be are a mans greatest strengths. "You have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep yourself in balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy” says Chief Bromden in the book.
Moment of the month:
Phone conversation.
Him: A great man once said, "thanks to all the mediocre men in the world, if it weren't for them, how would we appreciate a genius".
Me: [distracted] Another great man once said... "Burp". Great men say a lot of things.
Moment in another guys month.
After rear-ending a car and a really short guy(avoiding the M word here) getting off of it.
Short guy: I'm not happy.
Him: So which one are you??
Me: [salutes]
A trip to Reno.
A bike ride with sweet guy through beautiful roads.
New people.
A new roomie.
Peace.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
And another year passes...
I grew an year older recently. (Is it a year or an year?) Lots of thoughts crossed my mind..
This post I'd read a long time back came to mind. (The second one. 'One cloudy Tuesday afternoon on a motorway').
Thoughts of growing old and wrinkly were there like a hard to ignore extra in a movie. But like Person B once said, "if you're gonna get raped, might as well enjoy it.." :).
But the hero of the moment was the fear that as the years pass I'll loose the passion to learn and discover. That I'll grow too lazy to exert myself to do new things and that my mind will grow closed to new ideas.
Aaah.. Whatever.
I say life is worth living as long as there is a new person to meet and get to know, an old friend to go back to, an unexplored place to visit, an unread book to look forward to and someone to dedicate this song to. I'm grateful to them all.
Hmm.. Lesse what I have to say when I turn 24.. Sigh.
This post I'd read a long time back came to mind. (The second one. 'One cloudy Tuesday afternoon on a motorway').
Thoughts of growing old and wrinkly were there like a hard to ignore extra in a movie. But like Person B once said, "if you're gonna get raped, might as well enjoy it.." :).
But the hero of the moment was the fear that as the years pass I'll loose the passion to learn and discover. That I'll grow too lazy to exert myself to do new things and that my mind will grow closed to new ideas.
Aaah.. Whatever.
I say life is worth living as long as there is a new person to meet and get to know, an old friend to go back to, an unexplored place to visit, an unread book to look forward to and someone to dedicate this song to. I'm grateful to them all.
Hmm.. Lesse what I have to say when I turn 24.. Sigh.
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