Sharing. How much is too much..

When I was in school, I had a chapter in English about a letter Jawaharlal Nehru wrote to his daughter Indira from prison (I tried to search for references to this on the net but couldn't find any). Nehru in his letter tells Indira that she should refrain from doing anything she would want to keep secret from others. The fact that she wouldn't want people knowing about it was a clear indication that she was doing something wrong. He did go on to say that there was a difference between secrecy and privacy and that there was nothing wrong with privacy. The chapter and the message it conveyed somehow stayed with me.

This seems like the kind of advice an Indian dad would want to give his teenage daughter. I apply the test sometimes. You should try it. It does make sense. This being said, there are certain other crucial facts we need to consider. Like,
1. Most people are dumb.
2. Most people are judgmental.
3. Most people won't put themselves in your shoes. :)

Leaving aside the general public, there is the question of how much you should/could share with friends (for that matter, there is also the question of which of your acquaintances you could call friends). Since I'm not exactly great with paras ("what do you have against paras", were the exact words of my English teacher) let's go through the various facts in points.

1. This, my dad once said. Never share your problems with others unless you think they might have a solution for it.
2. He also said, 'there should at least be one person in your life you share everything with. It helps you remain sane.'
3. Every time you share something close and personal with someone you let the person a little closer to you. You make yourself a little more vulnerable.
4. When you share something with a person, will he/she listen just because he/she is curious. Like a person hoping to catch a glimpse of a gory road accident. Or will he/she really care?
5. As a rule of thumb, I try and not discuss people. Especially if the person you are talking to knows the person you are talking about. That is always a bad idea. Call up someone who has no idea who you are talking about, and pour your heart out.
6. Some things are just too personal. Everyone has those things just one or two people in our lives know about. I believe it should stay that way. It gives value. To the things close and personal to you and to those two people in your life.
7. Almost everyone has his/her set of really close friends. Why not just talk to them when you feel like it. Why let someone new in.. And most importantly, if you do share with someone new without sharing with your old friends.. Would that be unfair to your old friends.
8. I have also noticed how we are so much more comfortable discussing emotions, issues and mawkish sentiments over chats, emails and SMSes but when in comes to talking about them in person we get uncomfortable, conscious, lost for words and sometimes even giggly. Somehow the reality of how ridiculous everything sounds hits you when you can hear yourself talking.
9. I believe you really bare yourself to a person not when you discuss your problems with them but when you discuss your aspirations.

So much for all the gyan, philosophy and contemplation. I haven't been able to reach a conclusion. I usually take the safe path and not share when in doubt. Better safe than sorry they say. And the lesser that people know about you the more interesting you seem.. ;)

Reading Cat's Cradle. I like the way Kurt Vonnegut writes. The movie Untraceable reminded me of something my English teacher once said. 'We all have a barbaric side. Wouldn't you rush to see someone hurt and bloody.' I think we are just curious. I would also rush to see if the stairs got painted pink by someone..