"Conversation like television on honeymoon. Unnecessary."
has been one of my all time favorite quotes. Whether I think conversation to be unnecessary because I'm not too good at it or if I'm not too good at it because I think it to be unnecessary is.. a chicken and egg question(of sorts).
All said and done, you sometimes have this urge to talk to people even when you have nothing to say. I have been flexing my conversation starting skills lately. Needless to say I haven't achieved too much success. Considering the fact that my past attempts involved questions like, "So. You ever tried running away from home when you were a kid" and "Did you ever have an imaginary friend", the fact that the people I tried conversing with didn't think I was a freak was, in itself, a feat.
For lack of better ways of keeping myself amused I've tried to categorize the various conversation starting/making strategies. Some of these I've actually tried out. Some were tried on me. Accompanying them are also the replies that ran through my mind when the statements/questions were made/asked.
1. The skill of observation making.
1a) I walked by the cube of a colleague reading something.
Me: Reading I see..
Ideal reply: Making obvious observations I see..
:D
1b) Walked by the cube of a colleague heading home with his bike.
Me: Ah. Heading home I see.
Ideal reply: Na. Taking my bike out for a stroll.
2. The art of incessant question asking.
She: What are you watching?
Me: The news.
She: Oh. You watch it regularly?
Me: More like randomly.
She: So. How many of you went for the movie?
Me: 5.
She: Who all?
Me: A, B, C, D.
She: Oh. And who organized it?
Me: A.
She: Oh. Which movie.
Ideal reply: Jenna Jameson the Masseuse.
3. The concern strategy.
Question: Hey, how have you been?
Ideal reply: I would rather die than lead the pathetic life that I currently do. My girlfriend thinks I'm a loser and is with me only because she has nowhere else to go, my friends have stopped talking to me since I stopped buying them lunch and sometimes the boredom and ennui of this vacuous existence makes me want to jump in front of a moving train.
That's all I have come up with so far. To all the women out there(and the men who don't get bored easy): This.
7 comments:
@Television being unnecessary during a honeymoon: well, it depends!
Heh. Valid point my friend. Noted.
Ideal reply: Jenna Jameson the Masseuse.
Waiting for compile.
Spewed hot coffee on keyboard.
You owe me a 20.
:-)
:D I'll buy you lunch and make up for it..
She was asking way too many questions. Fine line between mild curiosity and being intrusive.
PS: I didn't mean the ideal thing to do would be for five people to go watch that movie :). Just that, that reply would have put an end to the incessant questioning.. (Or not. But then the conversation would have actually gotten rather interesting. :D)
"Ideal reply: Jenna Jameson the Masseuse." !!!!!!
I almost killed myself choking on Noodles.
Nice to know we watch the same movies ;)
nice flow ... though jenna jameson sounded quite innovative and came quite unexpectedly ...
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