Freedom of expression - a myth?

The number of unfinished posts mounting in my account is astounding. So there is no telling when and if this post will actually get published.(OK, calling the process of clicking the 'publish post' tab "publishing", might be pushing it).

I was spending a lazy Sunday morning doing all those things I plan on doing during the weekdays but never get to (gym, catching up on news, making progress on that novel that seems to be growing bigger the more I read it, updating this blog, etc etc) when I got to know of this and this that disturbed me somehow. Left me wondering and muttering, 'I don't understand'.

Here's how I look at it. She writes criticizing the believes of a section of people. The section of people get pissed off. The next thing you know, people are offering money to anyone who "blackened" Taslima's face and are accusing her of being a "Jewish spy". Hmm.. Something doesn't add up here. I try to draw an analogy. To see if that would bring more clarity. If someone was to criticize you, how would you react to it..

1. Their criticism is not misplaced. You either correct yourself or turn a deaf ear.
2. The criticism is biased, misplaced and inaccurate. But people are dumb. Most people who listen to dumb people are dumb. It's pointless explaining the correct version of things to dumb people.
3. Go out there and let people know your side of the story. The other side of the coin. You might not have as much success of course.
4. Announce a bounty for the head of the person? Hmm.. I don't think so.

My conclusion, fight a pen with a pen, not with a sword.

As for the song lyrics.. My first reaction was "huh" (followed by"whaa" I think). The song had lyrics which translate to, "even a cobbler wants to be a goldsmith". It was considered derogatory to the dalit community since all cobblers used to be dalits.. Hooww does one draw such conclusions. Hats off to Mayawati. It must take a genius to make the connection. I say vote for Mayawati in the next elections as well. If only the makers of the movie knew this was to happen they wouldn't have spent as much on it's publicity.

At this point I got really bored and stopped thinking. And writing. It's a good thing to stop writing when you stop thinking. I do good things. I feel like Mayawati. As you may see the date on this is ..., I don't know, very old. To prevent this from adding on to my list of unpublished posts I put this up now.

Trivia of the post:
Click fraud

Double standards?

"Could you tell me the train I'll have to take to get there", she asked. I looked it up online and confirmed what I doubted. There were no direct trains going there. A while later she came down and asked me if I knew the number to a taxi service. I didn't. Told her who she could call to ask for it. Not once in all the while did the thought of driving her there cross my mind.

He said he walked down to work from his home everyday. Oh, do you want me to pick you up I asked. I drive down the same way.

Sigh. It's not just this. Maybe we(you are more than welcome to count yourself out of this generalization. I just feel better believing there are others with me on this) are also more tolerant to the quirks and qualms of the opposite sex. I'm not very proud of it. But guess that's just the way things are. Flirting someone called it. I'm not so sure about that. This is what I would call flirting..

[Girl bumps into guy]
Girl: Oh! I'm sorry.
Guy: [Smiles] I'm not.

Of course, if not said the right way and by the right person the guy would come out looking just plain creepy. But we're assuming the guy has the class and style to carry it off.
Not my original. Courtesy him.

This that and other.

Ever had this strong urge to write despite the fact that you have nothing to write about. It's similar to the urge to talk when you have nothing to say. This, would be a very good time to stay far away from any form of writable media, especially if there is a possibility of it being read by others. This being said, what's life if you don't do something stupid once in a while.

Since I don't have anything to say (which I'm guessing you've gathered by now. If you haven't I'm not particularly excited about you reading my blog), I'm going to take this opportunity to promote these posts by a friend who got into a blog updating drive recently. I also came across this and this (the first post - A quick tale 194 and the third one - Cult of Bad Mamas) that I rather liked.

I read 'One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest' recently. And I think, (yes, I tend to do that sometimes) to be able to see the funny side of life and the ability to be ourselves and not let others tell us who we ought to be are a mans greatest strengths. "You have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep yourself in balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy” says Chief Bromden in the book.

Moment of the month:
Phone conversation.
Him: A great man once said, "thanks to all the mediocre men in the world, if it weren't for them, how would we appreciate a genius".
Me: [distracted] Another great man once said... "Burp". Great men say a lot of things.

Moment in another guys month.
After rear-ending a car and a really short guy(avoiding the M word here) getting off of it.
Short guy: I'm not happy.
Him: So which one are you??
Me: [salutes]

A trip to Reno.
A bike ride with sweet guy through beautiful roads.
New people.
A new roomie.
Peace.

And another year passes...

I grew an year older recently. (Is it a year or an year?) Lots of thoughts crossed my mind..

This post I'd read a long time back came to mind. (The second one. 'One cloudy Tuesday afternoon on a motorway').

Thoughts of growing old and wrinkly were there like a hard to ignore extra in a movie. But like Person B once said, "if you're gonna get raped, might as well enjoy it.." :).

But the hero of the moment was the fear that as the years pass I'll loose the passion to learn and discover. That I'll grow too lazy to exert myself to do new things and that my mind will grow closed to new ideas.

Aaah.. Whatever.

I say life is worth living as long as there is a new person to meet and get to know, an old friend to go back to, an unexplored place to visit, an unread book to look forward to and someone to dedicate this song to. I'm grateful to them all.

Hmm.. Lesse what I have to say when I turn 24.. Sigh.

Hop skip and jump

Warning: A more than tolerable number of "I"s are to be expected in the post that follows. Readers are warned that reading the following will probably be a complete waste of about 5 minutes of their time that could have been spent admiring Maria Sharapova or Bard Pitt or both.

I met a bunch of rather delightful guys from Standford over the weekend. Conversation:
Guy A: It(the cinema) was so crowed the last time I was here with Person A(another guy), they didn't even have 2 seats together. We had to watch the movie sitting apart!! 2 seats together.. That's all we wanted..
Guy B: Which movie?
Guy A: Die Hard 3..
Guy B: Oh just cruel that you had to watch Die Hard all alone..
Guy A: I know.. The whole movie. No one to hold my hand..
Me: [Hehe]

Hmm.. I also learned how to say "I am an egg" in German.. Sounds something like "Ekh binn ein eii" .. :) Now all I need to do is find a German to show off. I also taught the German and Austrian how to say "I am an egg" in Hindi. Though it sounded like they were saying "I am inside" :D. Delightful Austrian..

I also went to a shooting range. Ah.. The feel of a shotgun plowing into you as the bullet hits its mark. Like sweet love making.

I also went to laser quest. Yes, the very same Barny and Robin play in HIMYM. I wasn't as good but that's besides the point. Sustained a self inflicted war time injury. It was a full one centimeter :D

Add to that my very first traffic ticket and I'd say it's been a pretty happening month..

Finally reading Harry Potter 6. Ginny has become all cool and caring and popular. Like the penultimate Hindi movie heroine. WTH. I want awkward, foot shuffling Ginny back. I like awkward foot shufflers.

Apparently, great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people. Mine probably lives in my knees..

Much ado about me. :D

I believe God gives us exactly what we ask for and then laughs His head off.

I believe God should have been made in the image of George Carlin.

I believe to be happy in life you need to know and accept the two indisputable truths - life can be a bitch and shit happens.

I believe living life is like walking a tight rope with the balancing pole growing shorter as the years pass.

I believe the man who wished for the world and got it has nothing more to live for, unless he has the courage to go on and wish for a star.

I believe the theory that if an employee is indispensable, fire him should be extended to life as well.

I believe I'm searching for something but don't quite know what.

I believe tough times make you both stronger and softer.

I'm back from my long sabbatical from blogging. All that I've mentioned above could be interpreted in several ways. It's left that way on purpose.

Random Mumblings

Sparkling yellow lights, so far away they shine.
Stories of fun, frolic and laughter they whisper into the night,
Of a life full of joy, of a life full of life,
Where every tomorrow is one to wake up to,
Where very mornings sun shines bright.

Just 'nothings' I thought of yesterday night. I've always been enticed by them. Those yellow street lights that would light up the street perpendicular mine. With cars and mopeds buzzing by with their headlights on.

So much for sweet nothings. Getting to the issue at hand, there is none. Hence the rest of this post is also going to comprise of unrelated nothings.

I have been reading 'The Fountainhead'. Half way through the novel and the story seems alright, although Ayn Rand tends to go a little overboard at times. I personally liked the book, not for it's story but for it's characters. I liked it for the fact that I haven't come across similar characters in the books I've read till date (which could be attributed to me not having read a sufficiently wide variety of books) and yet the characters seem so believable and real. Anyone who reads the novel will probably relate to one or the other of these characters. He thinks it's amazing. He thinks it's a load of nonsense. And he thinks it's a ladies novel with all women who read it seeing themselves in Dominique Francon(one of the characters).

On a completely different note. I/we have realised that the English language is fairly unimaginative with its abuses, as compared to the Indian languages. Again, my thinking so might be because of my lack of a more complete English vocabulary, but I doubt you'll come across the following phrases in English:
Shake.
Die / die in a handful of water.(not too much of an abuse, this one)
Your grandmother. [Period :D]
Have you mentioned at home and come?
Sister's [:D]
And a lot more I won't venture into. Of course there are several parallels too.

I wonder if to be truly free you have to make sure you never love anything(be it money, lifestyle or a man). So that you don't live in perpetual fear of loosing it. So that nothing can hurt you. Nothing can control your doings. Dominique in Fountainhead thinks so (in my humble understanding of the novel and the character). They say life lived like that isn't life lived. I just wonder.

A car I bought.
People I met.
Master Yoda I speak like.
Kinky we can get. :D

Hmm.. Marry.. Why?

I had the "find someone for yourself else I'll have to do the honors" conversation with my dad a couple of days back. "Aaah I don't want to" I said. "You have to" he said. "We'll have the rest of this conversation after another 3 years" I said. He agreed.

"You have to" he said. Why? Why do I have to.. Why do almost 99.9% of the Indians think it absolutely necessary to get married. A friend of mine had a similar conversation with her dad. This was her argument (this is hearsay, so these might not be her exact words): girls generally get married for financial support, emotional support and physical intimacy. She is able to support herself financially, her friends give her all the emotional support she needs and physical intimacy isn't hard to find these days. So why does one need to get married. I don't completely agree with her. Maybe once your friends get married and have their own families they won't be able to give you the same kind of emotional support. But then again maybe having emotional support is another one of those over-rated things. Go for long enough without it and you'll get used to it.

Maybe that's not all. Maybe you also get married for companionship and children. Maybe it is the maternal instinct in us that drives us towards marriage and consequently having children. But marriage isn't necessary for that. If one wants to have a child adoption is always an option. Not to mention having children outside of wedlock (I can almost hear the tsk tsks). We could live life the Sushmita Sen way. Buy our own diamonds and adopt a child.

Me. I'm a skeptic. I don't believe in the concept of ever lasting love and being made for each other. I believe you can have a fairly comfortable marriage with almost any guy (provided you give it your time and energy) and that no guy can give you the perfect marriage. But why marry when you can have it all (at least most of it) without the trouble. Maybe. Just maybe it's about finding "the right guy". She once said, "the guy who'll make you want to sacrifice the familiar for the "maybe"". Don't think it can be expressed any better than that.

All things nice and overrated

1. Conversation, for starters.
Whatever happened to comfortable silence.
2. Self-discovery.
Know thy self and waste a lot of time in the process. You are who you believe you are.
3. Being normal and sane.
What's the point. If you aren't a little weird or messed up you aren't interesting enough. Normal people are boring.
4. Useful utilization of time.
Define useful. Stop utilizing. Start living.
5. Being a Roman in Rome.
This theory has already lost ground. Be who you are and maybe pick up a couple of Roman qualities you admire. Like the way that cute Italian guy smiles..

PS: I know there exist valid counter arguments for each of these statements I have made. I myself am not a staunch follower of these theories. I just believe all this stuff is overrated :)
PPS: When I say "you are who you believe you are" I do not mean you go on to believe you are superman and jump off the cliff. Actually, if you manage to reach such a conclusion, you probably should jump off the cliff. The average world IQ would make a huge leap.

Conversation of the week:
Me: I sort of maintain a blog.
Person A: Blog?
Person B: Blog. Where people write stuff because they don't have friends around to talk about it to.
Me: [Sigh] Probably.

Me misses...

Hindi music. (You have no idea how good it sounds until you haven't listened to it for months together.)

Grandma's tea and pointless channel surfing after a tiring day at college and a good evening nap.

Friends dropping in and insisting on making conversation while you are having the evening nap.

You trying to convince them to sleep as well.

Sleeping like there is no tomorrow after an exam well done.

Non-stop, rapid speed messaging (Oh how I miss my Nokia) because phone calls aren't free.

Slight drizzle and good company on the walk back home.

Sitting behind the canteen with 20 other people and mugging for an exam.

Treks through leach ridden paths.

Traveling on a truck because the bus broke down.

Bending out of the truck as it makes sharp turns.

Watching Kannada movies in the theaters of Majestic.

Road side Pani Puri.

Hanging out in college bus having pointless conversations.


Yes, I'm an emotional fool.
Yes, I find it very difficult to move on.

To all my crushes..

He smiles and it feels like I could give the world to make sure that smile never fades. It feels even nicer if I was somehow responsible for that smile. He talks to me and I'm struggling to come up with something remotely smart to say in return. It's just a crush. I will probably never have an actual conversation with him. If I did, that would probably mean the crush had ceased to exist. He's not the first. There have been many before him and I hope there will be many after. Because (huge grammatic mistake you say? Go to hell I say) he makes me feel alive. Gives me something to wake up to. Assures me that cynicism and skepticism gained over the years hasn't killed the dreamer, lover, romantic in me.

I don't remember how many there were. I take wearing one's heart on one's shoulder to new levels. My heart generally hovers around me somewhere. There was the smart guy with the broken tooth. The sweet looking guy of few words. The 2nd second sweet guy of few words. The guy with the cringe-ey eyed smile. The smart guy who helped me out. The smart sweet guy. The really smart, really sweet guy. And lately, the replica of the really smart, really sweet guy and the self proclaimed grouch with the genuine smile. (Lost somewhere in between? Don't bother. Think one of them might have been you? Probably ;) )

There have been others I haven't mentioned. I've also realised that I am particularly drawn to guys who are smart, sweet and subtle. So if you are a guy, with even two of these 3 qualities.. Stay away. I'm trying to tame my heart here.

At work and bored

Two weeks since work started and I feel like a like a novice swimmer thrown into deep deep waters, hoping she will learn to swim to keep herself alive. For moments in between you feel like you are making progress but before you know it, the moment has passed. After 6 years of college and staying at a place you are just beginning to get comfortable with the place, people and style of life, when whoosh (trying to imitate the sound made when a slingshot is released). You are in a completely new place with new people, new protocols and new almost-every-other-thing. All of a sudden there are so many things you need to learn and master - the fine art of making coffee (the master plan was/is, if I didn't know how to make one, no one would ask me to. So much for master plans.), the art of meaning what you say and yet not saying what you mean, the fake laugh, married men and the list goes on.

While trying to unravel the mysteries of this strange new world, I stumbled upon the eternal (? maybe not that eternal) question of – can colleagues be friends? Is it just me who seems to be having trouble connecting and being comfortable with colleagues or is it Universal? Can you never again in your life make the kind of friends you made in college? Or are we just loosing patience? Is there so much at stake at the workplace that no one wants to let down their guard? Or is it just that there isn’t enough choice? Going by real life examples, of the 4 or 5 close friends that my parents have, none of them are their colleagues. That isn’t much consolation.

I however, wish to remain hopeful. For is it not hope that keeps the world moving (no wait. I think it was faith or belief but hope comes close). Hence the struggle continues. To find ones place amongst people. To find ones place in the world.